Ten Steps to Clear Communication

1. Figure out what you want to say before you talk with your spouse, make sure you know what you want to tell him or her to minimize possible misunderstandings.

2. Decide what you needs from your spouse. You're more likely to get your needs met, whether it be a hug or an answer to a question, if you know what you want.

3. Use good judgment in timing. Is your spouse sick or preparing for a big meeting at work? Consider your partner's state of mind when choosing a time to talk.

4. Make eye contact. Your spouse will be more likely to listen and hear you if the two of you are looking right at each other.

5. Get your spouse's undivided attention. You will not be heard if your spouse is thinking about something else when you're trying to talk with him or her.

6. Be a good listener By being attentive to your spouse, you will have a more productive discussion.

7. Confirm that you were heard. Ask your spouse if he or she understands fully what you just said. Then, and only then, will your spouse be able to respond properly.

8. Rephrase what your spouse has told you. This will let him or her know for sure that you've heard what was said.

9. Schedule a better discussion time if necessary. Sometimes it's just not possible to get your spouse's attention at the exact moment that you want it.

10. Remember that communication is a two-way street. If you both agree to follow these steps, you will both benefit and strengthen your relationship.